How to have a good relationship with your parents

Being in a good relationship with your parents means communicating freely, spending quality time together and establishing healthy boundaries.
Being respectful and appreciative, particularly as an adult, assists in building a close, supportive relationship.

Communicate openly and respectfully

1. Be a good listener: Give parents full attention when they speak. Maintain eye contact, and avoid interrupting. This shows value for their opinions and perspectives, even in disagreement.
2. Share your life: Make an effort to include parents in what is happening in your life, even if you do not live at home. This can include talking about your day, sharing what you're learning or working on, or introducing them to your friends.
3. Practice empathy: Try to understand their point of view, particularly in conflicts. Acknowledging their feelings can help in tense situations.
4. Talk about issues calmly: Focus on solving the problem, not attacking each other when a conflict arises. Use "I" statements to express feelings gently and respectfully, and avoid bringing up past disputes.
5. Be honest about your feelings: Communicate feelings with respect rather than keeping them bottled up, which can lead to resentment, if something they do bothers you. 

Spend quality time together

• Share hobbies and interests: Find activities both parties enjoy, such as cooking a favorite meal, going for a walk, watching movies, or working on a home project.
• Create new traditions: Build new, positive memories together by setting aside dedicated time for regular activities, like weekly dinners or monthly outings.
• Be intentional and present: Put away phones and other distractions when spending time with them. Giving undivided attention shows they are a priority.
  
  
• Keep in touch regularly: A simple call, text, or video chat to say hello or ask how their day is going can make a big difference if you don't live nearby. 

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Set healthy boundaries

1. Know your limits: Identify what is needed for your own emotional and mental well-being before discussing boundaries with your parents.
2. Communicate clearly and directly: Explain boundaries calmly and concisely, such as asking them to call before dropping by, or stating that you need personal space to make your own decisions.
3. Release guilt: It is not disrespectful to set boundaries. Healthy boundaries prevent resentment and are an act of self-compassion that can ultimately strengthen the relationship.
4. Maintain your independence as an adult: Gently, but firmly, remind them when they treat you like a child. This helps them see you as a capable adult and allows the relationship dynamic to evolve naturally over time.
5. Seek professional help if needed: Consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor to navigate the situation if struggling with a toxic or challenging parent-child dynamic. 

Show appreciation and respect

• Express gratitude often: Let parents know appreciation for their love and support through words and actions.
• Help out around the house: Offer to do chores or run errands, even if you do not live at home. This can take the load off their shoulders and shows care.
• Celebrate them: Acknowledge important milestones and events like birthdays and anniversaries. Surprise them with a gift or pay for a meal to show gratitude.
  
  
• Be a good role model: The best way to honor parents is often by living a life that reflects the positive values they taught.
• Listen to their advice (but also live your own life): They may offer a lifetime of wisdom and life lessons. Listen attentively, but also be comfortable with the fact that different opinions and ideas may exist. 

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